Grand Rising and Happy Sundaying, good people.
I hope that today is being kind to you. And if not, I’ma believe with you that all of your tomorrows will be better than your yesterdays.
I know that I post blogs on Sundays now but I’m writing this on the Saturday night before.
Today for me. Yesterday for you.
Get it? Okay great.
So, currently, I am sitting in the middle of my bed on a towel, eating barbecue from the Mexican supermarket down the street from my house, enjoying the quiet that my house has become since my Starter Husband came and took the children that I had for him away for 24 glorious hours.
Please understand; I have been the sole caretaker for my 12 year old daughter, my 11 year old son, my 9 year old son and my 8 year old son, since March 18, 2020.
Yes. I said MARCH 18th. All alone. Just me.
Before this quarantine began, he would come get them for the weekend, every 2 weeks. Faithfully.
I was still working then, so it was usually because I needed him to watch them more than I wanted to. He’s a good dad so I encourage some of those good dad skills as much as possible.
Plus... I be tied.
But, since COVID-19 decided to stop everything but bill collectors, I’ve kicked my hustling into gear and been working my butt off. I’m making shirts and making breakfast and writing books and making lunch and working on podcast and making dinner. Every day, all day since March 18th. At this point, I could go the rest of my life having someone else do my grocery shopping and I would not be mad at all.
I’ve been referee’s fights and listening to my daughter SCREAM about how “ghetto” it is to have 3 little brother. I’ve been answering questions about the things that are going on in the world. I had to explain (a few times) why the stores around our house got looted and why we have to go so far to get the items that we need. I’ve been helping the grieve the loss of my oldest. We’ve been up in here putting in some serious work. Work that probably would not have gotten done if I was still working and they were still in school.
After having to repeats myself 1 too many times about all their lack of ambition when it comes to cleaning my home, I snapped.
Well, I didn’t really snap. I went and got my float kit, picked up my keys and walked right out of the door.
For me, that’s snapping.
I went and met my friend to get some shirts she wanted pressed, went to KFC and got my comfort food: Original recipe breast and wing and a bottle of water. Bonus, the wings weren’t done so I got 2 breasts. Then I drove back home and sat in my car. Floating and eating.
I came to the conclusion that my children and I needed to be apart for at least 24 hours. I text their father and told him that exact phrase.
Come get your kids, bro.
They protested strongly but, in the end, Mom always wins. He replied “OK” and I sighed. I really hoped that meant he was going to make it happen.
And look what God did for me.
Starter Husband text the next day with his arrival time and told me he would keep them ALL NIGHT.
God did that.
So they left a few minutes ago.
instead of having to order Saturday pizzas, I opted for ribs and water. And I’m going to sit here and not have anyone call my name to snitch, ask me for a snack, ask me about dinner tomorrow, or any other super annoying thing my kids have done in the past 4 month. Because ain’t nobody here to ask me for shit.
I love it.
Thought about going out. Probably won’t.
I’m super cozy right here with my ribs, my air conditioner and my televisions. Rest is a big part of self-care that people seem to overlook all the time. A nap works wonders for your temperament and time alone recharges your batteries. Not to say that a pedicure isn't self-care, because it is. But taking care of yourself is more than what you see on TV.
Sometimes it looks like sitting in the middle of your bed eating ribs and drinking water.
Everybody needs a break sometimes. I’m fortunate enough to have a person to lighten my load every once in a while...