Good Morning and Happy Humpdaying, beautiful people!
So I got another question that needs another answer!
Damn It, Sam...
How do you know if you are meant to be more than
"just friends" with someone?
Well, since I am in love with my friend and we're still "just friends", I may not be the best person to answer this.
But I'm gonna give it my best go.
I can only assume that you're attracted to your friend. Because, if you weren't, this wouldn't even be a question, so that's a plus for them.
But besides that, being in a relationship is a choice. It's optional. No once should feel forced or finessed into it. It's a gift, and gifts should be given freely and with the best of intentions. If you have met someone and feel like you want to give them the best of yourself, and you want to try and build a life with them, then by all means, go for it. Love is most effective when it is shared and mutual. Relationships work best when everyone involved is in agreement with the situation. Emotions are cool but real relationships aren't always feels and sexy time. Don't get me wrong; sexy time is important. But it's not what's most important.
It's communication, understanding, patience and maturity. Having an adult relationships needs two adults that act like adults and think before they speak and act. It's consideration. It's peace. It's loyalty. Its’s honesty.
It's real love.
And anyway, relationship doesn't automatically mean marriage. Some relationships turn into marriage, but that, once again, is a decision. Being married is just a piece of paper but the commitment makes it special. People can be committed to each other and love each other and not get married. At least, not at first. That’s a whole ’nother decision for a whole ‘nother time.
I read an article once about a girl that was telling her mom about her crush and how cute he was. The mom told her to look up 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 and replace the word "love" with the boy's name. If every statement that she repeated is true, then that's how she would know that the person is worth giving her heart to. Because they understand how valuable the gift they have been given is. So try it! Insert your friend's name into the scripture and see if it fits:
"4 _______ is patient, _______ is kind. _________ does not envy, ________ does not boast, ________ is not proud. 5 ___________ does not dishonor others, __________ is not self-seeking, __________ is not easily angered, __________ keeps no record of wrongs. 6 __________ does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 _________ always protects, _________always trusts, _________ always hopes, _________ always perseveres."
Is that right? Does your friend fit in perfectly? Are they someone that you truly believe that you can like enough to grow to love? Or do you love them already and you're ready to be in love? Asking questions means 1 of 2 things:
1. You‘re not ready. -or-
2. You’re scared.
If you’re really not ready then that’s fine. Maybe it’s not the right person. But if you’re scared, you need to find out why and fix that first.
And ask yourself another question: Would you want to see that person happy with someone else, when you could be happy with them?
So my advice to you is this: Watch, listen and learn. Don‘t just listen to what they say, but also observe what they do to see if they mean it. Trust yourself. Trust your heart. And, when in doubt, ask God to reveal all.
He'll never steer you wrong...