Well, yesterday's post was so popular I decided to try it again today!
Isn't that fabulous?
Anyway, let me preface this post by saying this:
I am not a relationship expert, or an authority on anyone's business. I'm just a cute fat girl that's overly observant and has a near-photographic memory, so I happen to know a lot of stuff.
Anyhoo, let's proceed, shall we???
Dear Damn It, Sam,
A few years ago, I reconnected with a woman from my past.
We started dating and moved in together, getting engaged not too long after. I love her so much and I love our relationship but, lately, I have been having doubts.
I'm not 100% sure I want to marry her, but I don't want to hurt her either.
Recently, I met another person and they have been actively pursuing me, and find myself
EXTREMELY sexually attracted to them.
I don't want to be with them though;
just sleep with them.
I came really close to do it, but I feel like, if I do,
I won't want to be with my fiancé at all anymore.
That's scares me, because I love her.
What should I do???
Well, first, I think honesty is the theme of this situation, and not just with your fiancé. You need to be honest with yourself. If you know that you aren't 100% invested in marriage, don't get married. Marriage is not a relationship fixer. If there are things not right now, they will get even worse after you get married. No signs present themselves accidentally, so if you feel like there have been red flags waving in front of your fiancé's face, I guarantee you the Universe is trying to show you something. But you get to decide if you are going to pay attention to the signs.
And second of all, exclusive relationships don't erase physical attraction. If that was the case, no one would ever cheat on their spouse Or significant other. Relationships are more about commitment than attraction. You decide to be with someone but that doesn’t mean that you lose your vision. Being attracted to another person means that your eyes work and you like what you see. The issues only start of your eyes start involving your other 4 senses. Then it will turn into, "We were just talking" and then "It was just 1 kiss". And before you know it, you're waking up naked, crying in the car on the way home to your fiancé.
It can't end well.
This new person is irrelevant. Yes, you're attracted to them, but the fact that you are afraid sleeping with them will make you not want your fiancé anymore? I think that's a bit of an excuse. I think you need to take a few steps back and realize that you may not be as ready for marriage as you would like to think. At least, not right now. Break out your trusty magnifying glass and take a look at yourself and your relationship and really study what you see. Sometimes the answers you need are right under your nose.
My advice would me, stop and think before you decide, one way or the other. For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction. You might not be able to control reactions, but you can definitely control your own actions.
Y'all are giving me some good stuff here!
If you have a question that you would like my opinion on, email me at
and I may answer it on the next post!!!