Grand Rising and a very Happy Mondaying to all!
I hope your weekend was everything you wanted it to be and, if not... Well... There's always one at the end of each week.
Feel free to try again.
Anyhoo, I want to start this rant off with a quote from one of my least favorite comedians, Katt Williams... *ahem*
"It's called self-esteem *****.
Have some esteem for your mother****ing self."
Allow me to go on...
There's this person that I used to care a great deal about that is spiraling out of control. Again. Thank God, Sam had enough sense to jump off that train before it crashes, but I still have a general concern for their well-being.
They had a rough childhood, a bit of struggle as a young adult. They've been married a few times and still looking for love. I'm not sure if they're looking in the right places or the wrong places but they have had no luck. Toxic relationship after toxic relationship and, as an outsider, I can see what the problem is: This person is "looking" for someone to "make" them happy.
I could stop right here, but I won't.
There is no one person.
I do believe in stop me in my tracks, heart-racing, love at first sight type of love. I am a fan. My addiction to Alexandria House and Stephanie Nicole Norris books are proof positive that I am holding out for a major move in the love department for myself. But do I think that a relationship is going to make me happy?
You cannot expect another human being to complete you. It is okay to still be in the building stages of your life. The journey is jam-packed with constant construction, upgrades, do-overs and revisions because we will never truly "get it right". I myself live in a perpetual state of "getting it right". There are lessons and bumps and hurdles and break downs all so we can get back up and keep moving toward the best we's that we can be.
While I believe in true love, I also believe in independence and self-sufficiency. I don't want to completely rely on another person for everything ever again in my life. Been there; done that. I want to be whole on my own and meet a handsome Black man that is whole on his own, so we can come and be whole together. No one can "make" you happy. No one is "making" me happy. I have been through some crazy things and I'm still going through some of them, but I am determined to be happy on my own terms. I'm just the person I need.
There's no one person to heal you. No one person to fix you. No one person to make you anything. Except dinner. Or breakfast. Respectively.
The person that I talked about earlier? They are going to keep getting hurt and keep hurting people until they realize that they need to seek their own happiness. It's okay to get by yourself and slap yourself around. I do it on a regular basis. Why wait for someone else to have to get me together when I can get myself together? Why wait on someone to come and tell me what needs fixing in me and on my when I can take some time to evaluate and reevaluate my own situation?
Someone is watching you to learn how to do it, and someone is waiting for you so you can be whole together. And you need it.
Do you need permission? Okay great. Consider this the slip you've been waiting for: