Updated: Oct 8, 2019
Heyyyy everyone and good Grand Rising to you!
My apologies for not being around lately. I've been mummying and podcasting and working and cooking and cleaning..
But, we are Mondaying once again and I have been listening to a lot of random conversations. Not actively participating. Kinda like "ear-hustling". And it's not being sneaky if you are on the phone spilling all of her tea in a public place where I'm just sitting, trying to mind my business.
People talk loud and I have really good hearing.
Anyway, in all of my listening this past week, I've noticed something: people tend to focus more on the problem than finding solutions.
I've heard about husband & wife problems, parent & child problems, baby mama & baby daddy problems, job problems, house problems, money problems. There is a lot of drama running rampant in the world today and I am tired of all of it. I am old enough now to realize that there will always be a lot of things to do. Sometimes they will be negative, but sometimes it will be positive. But there will always be "something".
That doesn't mean that I have to spend my time sifting through trash, though.
I can hear you getting an attitude now: "Sifting through trash? My life ain't trash, Sis." and I wholeheartedly agree. Your life is not trash. You are not a trash collector. But dwelling on the negativity that tends to flow in and out of your life on a daily basis is causing the trash to pile up around you and, if you keep letting it, you won't be able to tell the good from the bad.
Is there a such thing as good trash?
When you are constantly analyzing the mess that pops up (baby daddies, ex-husbands, trifling co-workers, crazy friends, etc.), you're sifting through trash, and that will get you dirty. And I don't mean the good kind of dirty either.
Dirt has no place going in the direction that your life is going and the things that you want to accomplish. Your gifts are making way for you, you are maturing and don't have time for other people's mess. Unless they are open to brainstorming and trying to figure out how to get over the hump, don't be afraid to tell them you can't help them.
Because you can't.
I don't know about you all, but I am at a point in my life where, if it's not making me better, I don't want it around. Our lives are a struggle as it is and I don't want to add someone else's struggles to mine. That's twice the struggle. I'm not interested in any more work. My struggle had my hair falling out.
My new short haircut is supercute but... yeah. I don't want to make this a habit.
People are needy. It's a fact. Everyone needs things everyday. But what you don't need is someone casting all of their needs on you. You are not Jesus Christ. There is nothing you can do to help someone who isn't interested in helping themselves.
And if you're anything like me, your first reflex is to help someone that tells you their problems. Umm, I'ma need you to work on turning that off. You cannot help everyone and even if you could, that would mean that something in your life is going without. While you are helping your man pay his car note, your lights are getting cut off. Now he's out living his best life and you're sitting in the dark. How is that fair???
Listen, I am SUPER funny acting about who touches me for what reason, when, where and why. Energy travels and transfers and listening to other people’s problems is no different. After they unload all of their baggage on you, they float away and you’re covered in trash. Now you’re trying to figure out how to elevate your energy and the person who dumped all over you is long gone. That is not fair.
Time to do some reevaluating, some prioritizing and some eliminating. There is absolutely nothing wrong with you putting you first. And whomever tells you that there is, they don't need to be around right now. The last few months of this year are going to take focus, so we can achieve the things that we put on our 2019 To-Do List.
Forgot all about it didn't you???
I didn't. You still have time to make some changes, and so do I. So I'm gonna go back to my minding my Monday business. And it doesn't involve any form of trash.
How about you????