Happy Valentine's Day everyone!!!
And yes, it's true. I am in love. And I'm also very single.
But how does that work exactly? I'm in love with someone but I'm still single? Affirmative, yes and absolutely. Being in an adult relationship with someone isn't all about feelings.
A couple of years ago, I met a fabulous guy. Not so tall, but yet dark and extremely handsome. We have lots of things in common, we enjoy each other's company. He understands my odd, dark sense of humor. He's not bothered my sarcasm. We communicate well. We share similar interests. We've spent a lot of time together and, somewhere along the way I fell in love.
I expressed that, and he assured me that his feelings were the same.
Awesome right? Match made in heaven, right? Happily ever after, right?
Maybe. But not today.
See, he told me that he wasn't ready for a relationship.
We talked about it. We had several conversations and discussed it at length. He explained his situation and, while I didn't agree, I understood. And I couldn't help but respect his choices. It actually made me love him even more. But no matter what our shared feelings might be, we would remain friends. And I can already hear you asking, "But if we both feel the same way, why would that be the outcome?"
Because we're adults.
In my opinion, foolish love is for teenagers. I've had foolish love. Heck, I've had a couple of them. Both of those relationships produced babies and heartbreak, and I'm in no mood for either one. Foolish love is lustful, unstable and erratic. It can't be trusted because it's led with feelings, and feelings change. Circumstances change. Emotions change. Foolish love is for the young and I'm a hop, skip and a jump away from 40.
I ain't got time for it.
My Man Crush told me that he wasn't ready for a relationship and I said okay. No arguments. I am in no mood to try and finesse someone into wanting a relationship. I'm not a saleman and this isn't a sales opportunity. Relationships are for people that both agree to participate. They can't work if they're one-sided. I want one with a man that sees me and says "Damn. I LOVE her. I CANNOT let her go. I refuse to mess this up. I will do whatever I can to make sure that she can be happy with me." Because that's what I can say about him.
And that's what I deserve.
So I picked up my feelings and moved around. It was hard, but I did it, because that's what adults do. We deal with things, heal from things and move on to better things. And now, I'm crushing on someone new, and he seems cool. I'm in no rush. I like the whole process of falling in love: the butterflies, the firsts, the feels. I'm here for it all. I waited around 10 years for my husband to pick me and me never did. Why should I wait for anyone else? And plus, time waits for no man.