Updated: Feb 1, 2019
Writing a daily blog is a lot harder than you might think.
Especially when you haven't had physical contact with the outside world in 48 hours. Chicago winters suck.
Right now, I am sitting in the middle of my bed typing. Do you know why? Because I could not think of one subject that I wanted to talk to you about.
I am literally out of rants.
But so soon? It's only the first month of the year! That means I have 330 some odd days left to figure out something that I think I could finesse into a 2 to 3 minute read.
But, my daughter just walked in, asking what I was doing. Even though obviously, I am just sitting here having some crazy writers' block.
But this is the type of thing that she does. I told her I was struggling with finding a subject for today's rant and, in her usual fashion she says: "You should rant about me. I'm awesome." Then she turned around and left. Whatever.
She's 18 and, I don't know if you know many 18 year olds but Stacey is.... Well... She's hard to put your finger on.
She's my oldest, so she's been with me the longest. It's hard to believe that I was only a year older than her when I had her. Just looking at her and knowing her and observing her makes me want to go give my mom a hug for making her a grandmother when I was a teenager. I couldn't imagine what must have been going through her mind back then because I couldn't imagine Stacey having a baby. Not because she's not a good person but because.... well... She's a Stacey. She's going to read this so I want to be as parentally-appropriate as possible: She's a teenager. Not an insult. Not a criticism. Not a compliment. It's an observation.
Stacey is the perfect teenager.
She's self-absorbed. Not selfish. She is at a time in her life where everything revolves around her. She doesn't have the capacity to see beyond what she thinks she needs, what she wants and what she wants to do; at least not right now. In a perfect world, she would be a fully-clothed Instagram model that makes millions of dollars on unnaturally naturally straight teeth, perfect eyebrows and dimples.
Yes. She has dimples.
She gets amazing grades and even takes classes at one of Chicago's amazing community colleges. She's on the debate team. She is a Girl Scout. She dances and sings and makes Musical.lys (I have no idea what they are but apparently they're time consuming). She loves coffee and puts barbecue sauce on almost everything. She is the biggest fan of Broadway that I have ever seen in a Black person, especially one her age. It's hard to believe that she's graduating from high school this spring. She wants to be an accountant and a flight attendant. Grand plans, but totally doable, and I support them all. She's also Type 1 diabetic, which means she's insulin dependent. I put that one last on purpose because, while it seems like a big deal, it's just a small part of her awesomeness.
She's awesome and she knows it.
Stacey is loud and funny and cute and talented. And she knows it. She has more confidence in her right hand at the age of 18 than I had in my full body at the age of 35. She is literally the center of attention everywhere. Not because she makes herself look foolish by being obnoxious and irritating like so many other people her age. She just... Shines. She always has. She's always been bright and full, taking up space but not being overbearing. She exudes confidence. And my perfect, confident teenager is growing up. She goes where she wants and soon she's going to be working and going to school and juggling men and living her best life. I can't want to see how many awesome things she does. Because that's how awesome she is.
And I'm her mom.