The Sad Tale of the Struggletail...

I know. I'm cute.

I'm fully aware. But even as cute as I am in that picture, it's not as cute and I can get. My eyebrows are atrocious and I'm rocking the Struggletail.

Let me explain.

So, I am mildly obsessed with an actor named Andra Fuller. If you do not know who that is, ladies and gentlemen, I suggest you utilize your Googler. And make it snappy. I'll wait....


So anyway, he used to star in this internet dramedy called "RoomieLoverFriends" on Black & Sexy TV. You can YouTube that when you have some time. He's also done a few movies and TV shows, but that's when I became aware of him.

So, his character's name was Jay. When Jay was between lady friends and or on an involuntary Sexy Time fast, he wouldn't shave. He would still go to work and go about his daily tasks, but he would not shave his face. It got to the point where he grew a nice little beard.

And yes. The man is even sexier with facial hair.

Anyhoo, I've been on a fast of my own. The sexy time part is totally coincidental, but I guess I'm fasting that as well. I kind of cut myself off from a lot of things: no Pepsi, no TV, no floating. All I do is work and sleep. I'm having an internal battle with myself. I'm not where I want to be in my life and it's messing with my mind. I'm 37 years of age. I expected to be married with my own home 2 cars and planning yearly vacations by now. The Universe had some hard lessons for me to learn though, because I'm not there yet. I'm starting to think that might not be my dream life anymore.

But what is my dream life?

What am I supposed to be doing? What is my destiny? Writing? Blogging? Vampiring? Raising my kids? Will I be single for the rest of my life? Will I grow old with 50 cats?

Absolutely not! Because that's not what I want. I don't really know what I want at this point, but I do know what don't want to do.

I have to start somewhere.

I know that I don't want to struggle. I don't want to settle. I don't want to be unhappy. Whatever I am meant to do for the rest of my life will be as fulfilling as raising my kids. I will enjoy doing it every day and I will be able to have financial security at the same time. I know that I will be buying a house, I will have a couple of cars, I'll be able to travel and I will do it because that's what I want to do.

Setting the intention is the hard part. Now all I have to do is focus. God will reveal the rest. I truly believe that He is whispering my name in the ears of people that will invest in me. My books will outsell even my wildest dreams and,,, This blog? Let's just say that you should subscribe now. I'm going places.

But today, I'm rocking the struggletail. I'm depriving myself until I reach my goal. I'm using the time to get what I want. Focusing all of that good energy. I have grand plans and great ideas. Women know how much time and focus her hair can take and I want to focus as much energy into life as possible. I've made a promise to myself.

It will pay off...

Do you have dreams?

Do you know for sure what you want to do?

Are you doing it now???

Share them with me it he comments below...

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