Sometimes even the smartest individuals need advice.
Since I made the decision at the beginning of the year to take a "Float Break", I have found myself in an awkward position: dealing with all of my life's issues...
Yes, I have had both my feet and my brain flat on the ground and it is definitely taking it's toll on my decision-making skills. I had gotten used to taking my own sweet time in how I process the things that pop up. My daily routine last year went as follows: wake up, get my kids ready and take them to school, meditate, get ready for work, work, come home, get the kids ready for bed and the next day, float. Everyday. The pattern never changed and I loved it. It was the part of my day that I looked the most forward to because I could breathe in the last Responsible Sam breath of the day and exhale my way into the Floating Sam breath of the day. I could really be me. Relaxed. Carefree. Real.
I know what you're thinking: if I loved it so much, why did I stop?
Well, I didn't really stop. I just took a break. I felt like I was starting to depend on floating too much. I was scared that it was becoming more of an addiction than a choice. I had to prove to myself that I could stop whenever I wanted to like I claimed. So I did.
I just stopped.
It hasn't been as hard as I thought it would. I've been saving money. I've been cutting back on carbs and calories. And I've been making smarter and quicker decisions.
We've discussed my procrastination issues before. I don't like making decisions. It's not my strong suit. But, when I float, I care less about the fact that I don't like making decisions. It was a procrastination stimulator. And I started making messes that were becoming harder and harder for me to fix.
So I made a responsible, executive adult decisions. That's the thing about being grown: It's not always about what you want to do; it's also about what you need to do. And I didn't consult my Two Piece Spicy or my Life Bestie or my Boy Best Friend about it like I normally do. I needed a person that knew me inside and out. I needed an expert opinion.
So I talked to myself.
I mean, who knows me better than I do? Who knows all my secrets? My likes and dislikes? My pet peeves? Who knows everything about everything about me, other than me? Nobody. And I know that you might think that only crazy people talk to themselves. I might be crazy, but I'm not alone. How many times a day do you listen to your brain? You think that's Beyoncé's voice telling you to get up and go to work? Or maybe you thought it was Oprah or Barack Obama. They seem to be experts on life. They know stuff.
Yeah, they know stuff. But they don't know you.
There comes a time in your life when you have to forsake all of the outside noise. Not because it's wrong, but because it's distracting. You have to put aside every distraction and consult your own personal expert. Everything that has ever happened in your entire life- every hardship, heartbreak, and eye-opening experience- has been a lesson. And what comes after a lesson? An exam. You've learned everything that you've learned about your life and then it's time for you to put that knowledge to work for you.
I love to float. Besides my mama, my kids and Pepsi, it's my next favorite thing. But just like I had to make Pepsi an every-once-in-a-while treat, floating had to become the same. It's there if I need it.
But when I have to consult someone on me for life decisions, I have to ask the expert.
Me. Myself. And I.