My boys used the rest of their Christmas money to take me on a date to the movies.
This was after they bought a crystal making kit (for the little one) and Nerf ball guns.
I can't be picky. I was just the driver.
Anyway, the movie of choice was Ralph Breaks the Internet. Now, I've never seen the original Wreck It Ralph movie, so I had no point of reference for this particular feature. I'm not a big fan of cartoon movies. All of the ones that I watched when I was my boys' ages made me cry because someone died; Lion King, Dumbo, Bambi.
Now that I think about it, I can absolutely understand why most adults my age are in therapy. The Disney movies themselves were traumatizing.
So apparently, this movie is totally centered around arcade video games. Each character is from different game. Ralph, the big oafish guy that the movie franchise is based on, was the villain in one game. Kinda like the King Koopa of Mario Brothers. And his best friend is a cute little princess names Vanellope from a candy-themed racing game.
Vanellope decided that her every day, monotonous life is getting to her, and conveys to Ralph one night over a round of root beers that she longs for something more. Being the man that he is, Ralph decided to take matters into his own hands and change the course of Vanellope's game, which pacified her for a moment, but also caused the real-world player of the game to break the steering wheel control console. When the owner of the arcade sees that the price of replacing the parts costs more than the game makes in a year, he decides that, at the end of the week, the game had to go. Which means that Vanellope would also disappear with it.
Ralph couldn't have that, so he and Vanellope decided to go into the Internet and purchase the item themselves in order to save their friendship. This opens up an entire wide new world of Spam, pop ups, social media and eBay.
The story continues to go on and I was fascinated by how the writers of the movie can make a movie designed for children to also be understood and enjoyed by adults. I didn't take my standard hour and a half snooze, because I was all caught up in the storyline.
Now, let me be clear. I was not caught up in Ralph and Vanellope. I was all caught up in my own personal interpretation of the story. You wanna know what that is?
Men will destroy the world trying to solve problems and women have to come behind them and not only clean up their mess, but fix all the problems that the men caused trying to help.
How did I get all of that you ask? Because... All Vanellope was trying to do was vent to her boy best friend about the everyday struggles that she faced and he put a virus in the WiFi and almost crashed the World Wide Web because he didn't know how to listen.
But, the virus was getting bigger and stronger, Ralph swipe a giant thumbtack from the Pinterest website and just when Vanellope was going to say "Forget all of this! I'll stay!", Vanellope's princess sisters had to swoop in and fix the problem.
What is my point? I can hear you getting tired of my ranting and wanting this to be over, so I'll break it down and make it really simple for you:
Women can accomplish more by working together and solving the problems of the world than by standing by and letting men do it. You don't have to like it, but you can't argue with the big-screen logic.
As a matter of fact, weren't an astounding number of women sworn in to Congress a few weeks ago? 81 Democrats, 29 Republicans to be exact.
Women coming in to fix what men tore up. Hmmm...
Not so far fetched, now that I think about it.
Who runs the world? Girls, of course...